I am included in a few spots in the schedule for SamCon 2013, an imaginary and horrible convention that is the brainchild of Sam Sykes.

My favorite session by far, however, is not mine:

Touch Patrick Rothfuss’ Beard

Seriously, just touch it.  Go on, quit being a wuss.  Look, tell him it’s for charity or something.  Like, just get on up in there and give it a good stroke.  I bet you—I fucking bet you—that something will fall out.  Something like gold or some shit like that, maybe.  Oh god, what if his beard parts and there’s another, five-inch version of Patrick Rothfuss in there and he just leans out and he…he just stares at you?

• Patrick Rothfuss

• 4:30 PM, Gonzalez