September 3, 2013

Baby’s first Worldcon

WorldCon was like getting married: you’re either waiting for something to happen, or it’s full-blown huge awesome whirlwind time where you meet everyone at the party but never feel like you said as much to them as you would like to. Then in the morning you feel like you aged 5 years overnight.

I met a bunch of awesome people there, did not do anything to dispute what seems to be my emerging Frank the Tank reputation among the con-going fandom, and I don’t think I ever made it to bed once before 5:00 AM. Hence the aging 5 years thing. I was really grateful that my job has prepped me for meeting tons and tons of people and shaking lots of hands and bellowing my name, which I did repeatedly to everyone, even if I had met them the previous 2 or even 3 nights.

Here’s the rundown:

The Donald Maass showing at the Con was awesome and a ton of fun. John Hornor Jacobs is probably one of the coolest dudes I’ve met in a while – he brought his dang guitar and was playing blues music in his room at 4:00 AM. We were also Scotch Buddies – he told me had a great bottle in his room, the Balvenie 12 year, which made me pause, reach into my bag, and pull out that exact same brand of scotch which I’d been doling out all night. This in turn caused him to ask me if I was magic man with a magic bag. (Yes, I was.)

Chuck Wendig was exactly who I thought he was: clever, motormouthed, and sporting an excess of charm. His banter levels were simply off the hook. Someone needs to give him a TV show. Or just film him on the sly, sleeping, eating oatmeal, etc. That works, too.

Robert Cargill was one of the most easy-going and laid back people I’d met that day, and it was extremely deceptive to slowly realize he had more industry experience and insight than 80% of the people there. He was also immensely confused when I, taken by the music, forced Brian McClellan into a spontaneous piece of (very bad) performance art in his room. (Before you ask, no, I have no memory of this.) I think he forgave me when I made him and JHJ cocktails in my room the next night at 4:00 AM, thus proving I wasn’t a total raving lunatic.

Adam Christopher was completely surprised to find out that, yes, I did put his nice tweet about American Elsewhere directly into the blurbs on its Amazon page, thus making him a 21st Century marketing guru and a powerful, dynamic brand-definer.

Drinks with Authors was a hilarious amount of fun. I think Myke Cole enjoyed it the most: he is a level 32 paladin specializing in yelling, which he did often, and with great enthusiasm. I showed up in a tux, which was dumb – I didn’t realize I’d be staying for the Hugos, which I spontaneously opted to do, which meant I didn’t have any tux to wear to that. Anyway, people seemed to enjoy it (I heard “sexy mortician,” “drunken Mormon,” and “manic Clark Kent,” among others), and we all had a great time. Thanks to Justin Landon and Steve Drew for putting it together.

Speaking of Steve Drew, I did a live Reddit AMA that quickly devolved into Sam Sykes and the Sykes Gang thinking up dumber and dumber questions and me trying to out-dumb them. No one won. I can never run for public office because of this.

Brian McClellan was delightful to meet. One of my favorite things that happened at the con was when we were all ordering drinks, and Brian, with more panache and confidence than I personally could ever muster, ordered a gigantic piece of chocolate cake instead. I have no idea why this delighted me so much, but it continues to do so.

I wasn’t paying attention to the Hugo Awards come 11:00 PM, but when Scalzi walked in to the elevator with a bigass rocket in his hand, that pretty much gave me an idea of what had gone down.

And having Galen Dara, who once did the website for The Troupe, win her Hugo award… well, that just pleased the utter shit out of me.

There are a lot of great, excellent people I’m forgetting here because I’m a big dumb loser. Do not have your feelings hurt – I cannot remember much of anything that happened after 12:00 AM or so each night. Memory is not my strong suit in this matter.

Anyway, on to the embarrassing photos. (Yes, I suck at formatting. Deal with it.)

Brian McClellan, reveling in his moment of tallness, being held aloft by Justin Landon and Sam Sykes.

Brian McClellan, reveling in his moment of tallness, being held aloft by Justin Landon and Sam Sykes.

photo 3

Me in the aforementioned Tuxedo.

This gentleman is directly violating my decrees from how to interact with me at Worldcon.

Stephen Hood is directly violating my decrees from how to interact with me at Worldcon.

Here is John Picacio intimidating the shit out of Sam Sykes and Justin Landon.

Here is John Picacio intimidating the shit out of Sam Sykes and Justin Landon.

Here is me and Brian McClellan sexily putting on our sexy Reddit chapstick, the sexiest of chapsticks.

Here is me and Brian McClellan sexily putting on our sexy Reddit chapstick, the sexiest of chapsticks.

Here is Galen Dara and Wes Chu posing with her Hugo, and getting photobombed by Sandra Wickham and a gentleman I did not meet.

Here is Galen Dara and Wes Chu posing with her Hugo, and getting photobombed by Sandra Wickham and a gentleman I did not meet.

And here is me having an intimate moment with Galen Dara's Hugo.

And here is me having an intimate moment with Galen Dara’s Hugo.